How Things Work in Real Life

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how a government policy begins.

(author unknown)

At least one person "gets it."

"With the upcoming election in November, there is much discussion over hot-button issues that people care a lot about and also base their vote for president on. But with a country that is slowly crumbling, I must ask, are these hot-button issues really that important?
"Abortion, gay/lesbian marriages, illegal immigrants -- what do these have to do with our dying economy, what do they have to do with our country? How can these make us stronger? The answer is, they cannot.
"People feel strongly about these issues based on personal beliefs and morals. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, that is a good thing.
"Morals and beliefs are what make individuals strong. However, they can divide a people. We are living in the United States of America -- 'One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.' We are a country together. As one, we are strong and powerful; divided, we are conquered.
"Does it truly matter if your next-door neighbor is married to someone of the same sex? Maybe to a few individuals, but how does that affect the nation? That neighbor is a part of this country and will stand by you to defend it. in a time of need, such is the case now; We cannot stand divided. We must come to see that there are things more important than our individual ideals and think of the greater good.
"We are living in a free country and this not only applies to a single person, but all Americans.
"We all have the right to choose and believe in our own morals and values, but when we thrust them upon others, how are they free? How are they receiving justice?
"Let us set aside the things that divide us and stand strong, as a country united.
"Help protect the land that our forefathers fought so hard for and restore our nation to its former glory."

What I find most remarkable in this letter is the writer's name: Hans Li, obviously the scion of immigrants, or an immigrant himself.

This is a hoot!!

The George and Dick Show

OK, one more time!!

How To Be A Good Republican
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.